How to Support a Loved One Through an Eating Disorder
Watching someone you love struggle with an eating disorder can feel confusing, scary, and deeply painful. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or feel helpless when nothing seems to change.
If that is where you are, you are not alone. And your support matters more than you think.
Start with care, not control
You do not need perfect words. What helps most is showing up with empathy and curiosity.
Try opening the conversation gently:
“I have noticed you seem stressed around food lately and I care about you. I wanted to check in.”
Keep the focus on your concern, not their behavior. This helps reduce shame and makes it easier for them to open up.
What actually helps
Support is less about fixing things and more about how you show up over time.
Listen without rushing to solve
Let them talk at their own pace. Feeling heard can be more powerful than advice.
Stay connected outside the eating disorder
Spend time together in ways that are not about food or the struggle.
Be consistent
Check in regularly and remind them you are there, even when they pull away.
Encourage support gently
Professional help is important. Keep the door open without forcing it.
What to avoid
Even with good intentions, some responses can make things harder.
Commenting on weight or appearance
Policing what they eat
Giving ultimatums
Comparing them to others
Making everything about food
These can increase shame and push them further into isolation.
Take care of yourself too
Supporting someone through an eating disorder can be exhausting. You might feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or scared.
You deserve support as well. Talk to someone you trust or consider your own therapy. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
A final note
Recovery takes time. There will be ups and downs.
Your role is not to fix everything. Your role is to stay present, patient, and caring.
Sometimes the most meaningful support is simply not giving up on them.
About Moha and Eating Disorder Counselling
Hi, I’m Moha. I am a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in working with eating disorders and body image. We live in a world that is saturated with messages about what our bodies are supposed to look like. We are told that if we look a certain way, we can finally be “enough”. As someone with lived experience of an eating disorder, I know all too well that it is never just about food; rather it is about wanting to feel loved and safe, wanting to control something in an otherwise chaotic world, or wanting to finally feel like you are enough.
Before I was a therapist, I volunteered at the Looking Glass Foundation for Eating Disorders. Here, I directly connected with individuals of all ages, backgrounds, and sexual orientations, and learned that while our journeys may look different, our core struggles remain the need. We all want to feel seen and secure. Whether you’re wanting to make peace with food, finally giving up on dieting, or learning to accept yourself as you are, I promise to take this path together with you. From someone who has been there, recovery is possible.
I also acknowledge that we live in a fatphobic world. Intersecting identities and systems of oppression can make it even more challenging to focus on recovery for folks of colour who are in larger bodies. Together, we will equip you with tools to take care of yourself, and continue to live your life to the fullest. I operate from a Health-At-Every-Size, fat-positive, and body-neutral lens.
I offer a free 20-minute consultation to answer any questions about my process and to see if we might be a good fit!
