How Shame and Self Surveillance Shape Postpartum Eating
After birth, many people find themselves watching their bodies more closely than ever. You might wonder
How fast am I healing?
How much weight have I lost?
Am I eating the right way?
Why does this still look like this?
This constant monitoring is not accidental. It is shaped by cultural expectations, internalized standards, and the emotional vulnerability of the postpartum period.
For those at risk of eating disorders, shame and self surveillance can quietly drive distress around food.
Postpartum Bodies Are Highly Visible and Highly Judged
Postpartum bodies are often discussed publicly in ways other bodies are not. Comments about recovery, weight loss, and appearance are common and frequently unsolicited.
Even well intentioned remarks can reinforce the idea that the postpartum body is something to assess, improve, or fix.
This environment encourages constant self monitoring and comparison.
Shame Thrives in Silence
Many people feel pressure to be grateful after birth. Struggling with body image or eating can feel incompatible with this expectation.
As a result, shame grows quietly. People may hide food related fears, skip meals in private, or dismiss their own distress as shallow or unimportant.
Shame increases isolation and makes it harder to ask for support.
Self Surveillance as a Coping Strategy
Watching the body closely can feel like a way to stay ahead of judgment or regain a sense of agency. Tracking food, weight, or body changes may initially reduce anxiety.
Over time, this vigilance often increases distress. The body becomes a source of threat rather than a partner in recovery.
Eating decisions become charged with meaning rather than guided by need.
The Link Between Shame and Control
Shame often fuels control based behaviors. When the body feels wrong, controlling food can feel like a way to become acceptable again.
In the postpartum period, this can show up as rigid eating rules, avoidance of certain foods, or anxiety around nourishment while breastfeeding or healing.
These patterns can coexist with exhaustion and emotional overwhelm.
Compassion Changes the Pattern
Reducing postpartum eating distress often requires addressing shame directly. This includes normalizing how common these experiences are and creating space for honest conversation.
Therapy and support that emphasize self compassion, nervous system regulation, and body trust can reduce the need for surveillance and control.
Postpartum bodies are not problems to solve. They are bodies that have carried, birthed, and are adapting.
If you find yourself constantly monitoring your body or feeling ashamed of how eating feels right now, that matters. These patterns are understandable responses to an intense life transition.
You deserve support that sees the whole context, not just the behavior.
About Moha and Perinatal Eating Disorder Counselling
Hi, I’m Moha. I am a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in working with eating disorders and body image. We live in a world that is saturated with messages about what our bodies are supposed to look like. We are told that if we look a certain way, we can finally be “enough”. As someone with lived experience of an eating disorder, I know all too well that it is never just about food; rather it is about wanting to feel loved and safe, wanting to control something in an otherwise chaotic world, or wanting to finally feel like you are enough.
Before I was a therapist, I volunteered at the Looking Glass Foundation for Eating Disorders. Here, I directly connected with individuals of all ages, backgrounds, and sexual orientations, and learned that while our journeys may look different, our core struggles remain the need. We all want to feel seen and secure. Whether you’re wanting to make peace with food, finally giving up on dieting, or learning to accept yourself as you are, I promise to take this path together with you. From someone who has been there, recovery is possible.
I also acknowledge that we live in a fatphobic world. Intersecting identities and systems of oppression can make it even more challenging to focus on recovery for folks of colour who are in larger bodies. Together, we will equip you with tools to take care of yourself, and continue to live your life to the fullest. I operate from a Health-At-Every-Size, fat-positive, and body-neutral lens.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation to answer any questions about my process and to see if we might be a good fit!
